10 Steps to Anger Management

anger management

When someone cuts you off on the freeway, do you give in to your rage? Do you burst out in anger when your child misbehaves? How do you navigate these situations and have better anger management strategies?

Anger is a very natural emotion. However, learning to deal with your anger in a positive manner is important, both for your well-being and that of others who are near and dear to you. When you cannot control your temper, you and everyone around you suffer the consequences. The following are some helpful anger management tips to help you along your journey. 

If you struggle with anger management, the good news is: It doesn’t have to be this way! You don’t have to fall victim to an uncontrollable temper. There are anger management strategies that will help you change the way you express this emotion.

These anger management strategies and anger management tips can help you manage your anger in positive ways:

Give yourself a time out:

 Counting to ten before you speak or act gives you a chance to think first. Take a deep breath or two while you count to ten and affirm to yourself that you are safe; this action helps relax your tense muscles and sends a burst of oxygen to your brain for clarity of thought.

  • Removing yourself altogether from the situation gives you more time to calm down and further reduces the risk of an angry outburst. You can return once you’re able to discuss the issue peacefully. As you feel yourself escalate that is the time to exercise self-control and walk away.

Take some personal space as one of the anger management strategies:

When the very presence of a specific person makes your blood boil one of the anger management tips is to stay away from them until your frustration dies down. Use the opportunity away from them to work through your feelings and seek a positive solution to your challenge with them. Sometimes it can even be helpful to distract yourself from the issue like doing some work or going for a walk to help you cool down to be able to think about the concern. 

After you’re calm, express yourself:

It’s healthy to express your feelings, even feelings of anger, as long as you do it in a peaceful, positive, and non-confrontational way.

  • Discussing your feelings with the person who upsets you often helps both of you understand each other better so you can work out your issues. One of the anger management strategies is to have a conversation only after you are calm and level-headed, otherwise, it can escalate again quickly.
  • Stewing about what is bothering you can make the whole situation worse so be mindful of sitting too long with your anger as it can be self-destructive.


Strenuous physical activity is an incredible way to release your anger, especially if you feel you’re at the breaking point. Exercising also releases endorphins, the “feel-good” hormones, which will help you feel more at peace. One of the anger management tips that are used often is to get your body moving to feel better right away and helps you blow off steam.

  • Lifting weights, running, and playing sports are great ways to blow off some steam and feel better about yourself. 

Think it through before you tackle the issue:

When you’re angry, you’re more likely to say something hurtful that you don’t really mean. One of the anger management tips is to be calm and centered before having a discussion. Get yourself in a good headspace so that you are able to communicate with the person clearly.

  • Write down what you want to say so you can work through the issue at hand; when your temper is flaring, it’s easy to get sidetracked. Keep to your notes and try not to veer off from what you are saying.

Find a win-win solution:

Instead of focusing on what someone did to make you angry, work with him or her to resolve the issue. Finding a solution that you both agree on will allow you to feel satisfied. By seeing the other person’s perspective in the situation you can diffuse your anger and be able to use your anger management strategies to allow for a greater sense of peace and intimacy in your relationships.  

Use personal statements when discussing the issue:

Avoid criticizing or placing blame.

  • Use statements like, “It makes me feel angry and upset when you don’t help me with the housework,” instead of “You never help me,” which could make that person angry or resentful in return. It can also keep from triggering the other person and giving them the opportunity to reflect on how they are interacting with you. 

Avoid holding a grudge:

Maintaining resentment toward someone only hurts you. Let it go, put it in the past, and move forward with your life. Forgiveness is the key to being able to heal and move on once and for all.

  • It’s unreasonable to expect everyone to act the way you want them to. Rather than letting someone continue to irritate you with their mannerisms, find a way to accept or look past them. As one of the anger management tips, try to learn to practice meditation of forgiveness and letting go. Holding on to bitterness never helped anyone. 

Use humor:

Lighten up the situation by saying or doing something genuinely funny. Once you both have a good laugh, it’s easier to find a resolution together. Laughter is always the best medicine in life.

  • When being humorous, avoid sarcasm as it can hurt and make things worse.

Practice relaxation techniques:

Skills like deep breathing and picturing a relaxing scene can help defuse your temper when you feel it start to boil.

  • Listening to music and practicing Yoga are also great stress relievers. Kundalini yoga has some excellent Kriyas for releasing anger such as fists of anger, which is a way to shift the energy of anger from the heart out of the body. 

If you feel that your anger is still out of control after using these strategies, you may benefit from some extra help, such as:

  • Reading further books on anger management.
  • Seeing a holistic doctor understand the root causes
  • Attending anger management classes or support groups where others discuss ways to cope with their anger. 
  • Talking to others about their anger management tips and anger management strategies maybe can also be helpful

No matter how severe your anger may be, these tips and techniques can help you control your temper, rather than letting it control you. Free yourself from anger and find greater joy in your life today! Inner anger is often a silent but deadly killer so working through your anger and developing greater skills can allow you to not only feel better but improve your health as well.

Read More

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