Yearly Archives: 2020

The ability to understand the feelings of others is a core quality that contributes to healthy, prosperous relationships and social connections. At our integrative family wellness center, we look at the impact and the role that empathy plays in healing the family dynamic. We can work with you on how to teach empathy to children.

Parents who know how to empathy to children weren’t born with this knowledge – they learned and applied it. And you can too! We find in our integrative family wellness center, that many parents were not taught how to empathize with their own feelings let alone learning how to empathize with their children’s feelings. This is a struggle when you are trying to practice things that you yourself has not been taught yourself. 

The good news is that within our integrative family wellness center, we teach these skills for success. As a growing part of integrative family wellness, these skills can be tricky to learn, especially for toddlers. However, all of the work and effort you put in to teach this important trait pays off greatly. Please take your time, add one step and one component at a time. 

The founder of the school of individual psychology, Alfred Adler, said, “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” This is even when we do not want to see the other person’s viewpoint. 

A few questions posed by parents in our integrative family wellness center, look something like this: When is the right time to start teaching our kids empathy? How should we do it? Is the occasional lecture about the importance of the skill enough? Are there some creative ways to do it? Will your child end up overwhelmed by empathy? When looking at the role of emotions, beliefs, behaviors, and actions we begin to look at the integrative family wellness dynamic. 

Parents who practice conscious parenting deal with these and many other questions on a daily basis. Fortunately, even though it is a learned behavior, your child is born with the capacity for empathy. You just have to recognize it and encourage the attitude that cultivates this capacity. This can be a challenge when dealing with survival mechanisms such as keeping up with the demands of work, money, etc. However, slowing down and being present is a practice that we teach at our integrative family wellness center. Providing skills, tools, techniques, and walking someone through the process of healing holistically is a what we help families do in our integrative family wellness practice. 

Any parent who is capable of being kind and shows compassion already provides their children with a good foundation of empathy. Children often mimic behavior that they see and are around. These include healthy and unhealthy behaviors. 

Here are 6 ways to teach your child the art of compassion and empathy that we teach in our Integrative Family Wellness Center:

• Teach about emotions. Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize, differ, and name various emotions correctly is the key to future empathy. Use flash cards, discuss, and provide insight to various emotions. Remember children do not have the language to describe and connect with their emotions. Providing language and insight for children by providing connections to their emotions. Such as I see you are frustrated, do you want to talk about it?
  
  • A child cannot empathize with feelings they can’t explain. By pointing out and naming emotions you assume your child is feeling, and the ones you’re feeling as well, you will stimulate the development of emotional intelligence. Repressed emotions and repressed communications can create outbursts. People often have outbursts when they have stifled communications. Understanding this can be helpful and supportive to your child.
    

• Model and interpret a variety of feelings. Use everyday situations of observing distress (in real life, books, or on TV) and talk with your child about how the main character of the story could be feeling. Teach them to take a pause and think about other people’s emotions before taking any action. This will teach more presence and educate them out of reactivity. Remember, emotions can feel very big and they can be overwhelming. Many adults have difficulty understanding their emotions, let alone children. Demonstrating low frequency (sadness, anger, grief) as well as high frequency emotions such as joy, happiness, etc. Placing names on these emotions to help build connections to these emotions is key.
  
• Inspire curiosity for similarities. Kids feel greater empathy for familiar individuals and people who are more similar to them. People will feel safer if they understand that more people feel the same way as they do. Sometimes if a person does not see or experience another person feels the way they do they can feel wrong, bad, or like an outcast. Knowing and supporting this uncertainty can build confidence. At our integrative family wellness center, we encourage the use of emotions as a tool. We teach families how to harness the power of their emotions to teach boundaries, make decisions, and even manifest the things we want in life.
  
• Our integrative family wellness approach, helps your children be aware of characteristics or experiences that they have in common with others. Allowing them to meet people from different backgrounds so they can hear their stories and identify with them.
  
• Read stories and organize role-plays. Empathy is more than just “emotion sharing.” It means taking another person’s perspective as well and trying to walk a mile in their shoes. When situations come up ask questions like, how do you think this person felt or how a person would feel if this situation occurred.
  

• Fictional stories and real-life narratives offer excellent opportunities for teaching empathy. Discuss the story you are reading with your child and focus on the hero’s emotions. These can be non threatening and free.
  
• Simulate common difficulties and life challenges with your children. This way they can perceive how they feel playing the role which will help them understand other people better. We have some excellent age appropriate examples at our integrative family wellness center.
  

• Practice recognizing facial expressions. Being empathic is hard if you can’t read someone’s face. Toddlers often misinterpret facial expressions. Show them pictures of people expressing different emotions and help them name each one of them correctly. We tend to use emotion flash cards in our integrative family wellness practice.
  
• After a conflict, share emotions. Conflicts happen in every family. Maybe you got angry with your child for something they did, or perhaps they got in a fight with their sibling. Forgive yourself for expressing your emotions. Sometimes, a part of the healing process is reparenting yourself.
  
• Once you’ve calmed down after the conflict, talk to your child about everyone’s emotions. This will enhance their empathy and also help them express their feelings more adaptively.

The moment you decide to teach empathy to children, you can be sure that you’re on the right path. Remember, each time you demonstrate empathy on your own, you are one step closer to having an emotionally well-developed child. Remember this is a process, sometimes you will be the teacher and sometimes the student in the process of self-learning. 

Dr. Elaine Aron defines the highly sensitive person as someone who “has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.” At our alternative naturopathic center, we often see sensitive humans and teach them how to navigate life through teaching them coping skills. 

It’s estimated that as many as 20% of the population could be classified as highly sensitive. So, you’re not alone if you believe that you’re highly sensitive. This might sound like a defect, but it can be very valuable to be highly sensitive. At a holistic center near me, we teach you how to use your high sensitivity for your highest good to transform.

Highly sensitive people tend to be very thoughtful, creative, and intelligent. They can also be great partners. You have a lot to offer if you’re highly sensitive, and our alternative naturopathic center is designed to teach you as well as your partner how to live as a highly sensitive human. 

At a holistic center near me we discuss several characteristics that suggest you might be a highly sensitive person:

• Your feelings are easily hurt. Do your feelings seem to be hurt more easily than those of the average person? This is a common theme in those that are highly sensitive. Highly sensitive people can feel quite a bit from other people. They can feel other people’s emotional upsets, and tensions which can effect the highly sensitive person. The challenge is to recognize what emotions are there’s and what emotions are other peoples, which is a part of what we teach you in an alternative naturopathic center.
  
• Negative thoughts and emotions consume a lot of your time. Do you spend a lot of time dealing with negative thoughts and emotions? This can be draining and exhausting to experience negative thoughts and emotions all of the time. At a holistic center near me, we teach people the skills and the tools necessary to get well and heal.
  
• Difficulty accepting criticism even if it’s accurate and constructive. Criticism isn’t easy for most people to hear, but is it devastating for you? Are you greatly upset by any type of criticism? Does criticism make you want to quit? This can be from previous programming where criticism made you feel bad, wrong, or judged. At our alternative naturopathic center, we teach you how to remain coachable, be open, and heal. We can help you to distinguish what is your “stuff” and their “stuff” so you can truly heal.
  

• Overreaction to perceived slights or mild insults. When someone fails to say “hello” to you, does it bother you a lot? Do you assume the worst when someone slights you or makes a questionable comment? At an alternative naturopathic center, we work with you on all of these perceptions and help you create healthy boundaries between you and other people. We also help you determine your perceptions and distinguish what if any learnings can come from these triggers.
  
• Easily overstimulated by crowds, too much activity, bright lights, loud noises, or strong odors. Do you avoid places with a lot of people or loud noise? Do strong odors bother you? Are you easily overstimulated in general? A holistic center near me creates a calming healing environment designed to allow you to relax and not be over stimulated. We create a center for healing.
  
• Easily upset by negative news media. When you watch or read about negative news stories, are you bothered more than most others you know? Watching or listening to the news media can create upsets which can lead to emotional reactions. These reactions often are not necessary when we are looking at self healing.
  
• You enjoy spending time alone. Do you truly enjoy spending time by yourself? When you’re alone, do you like to keep things simple and quiet? Or, do you listen to loud music while playing video games? We often experience those that are more introverted at our alternative naturopathic center, until we help them find freedom through the process of becoming a practice member. We offer a step by step approach to help people transform. 

• Does it drive you crazy when you have something in your shoe? Do scratchy fabrics drive you nuts? This is another good indicator that you might be highly sensitive. At a holistic center near me, we often encounter those with texture and touch sensitivities. We work to establish neurological or mineral deficiencies that may be contributing to the texture sensitivity.

At our alternative naturopathic center we have discovered these advantages of being highly sensitive:

1. More empathetic. If you’re highly sensitive, you can relate more easily to the emotions of others. It’s almost like you know what everyone is thinking and feeling. You can interpret other peoples thoughts and emotions while helping them through those thoughts and feelings.
   
2. More aware of social cues. Highly sensitive people are very aware of social cues like body language, facial expressions, and how to use and interpret personal space. This can be designed for safety but it also helpful in communication. At a holistic center near me, we can help you to read body language and help you to determine the best communication style to be used.
   
3. More alert to changes in environment. You know when something has changed, or items are out of place. You can feel when the mood of a room has changed. This is why learning about Feng Shui and the use of color is so helpful for you to help you feel safe, secure, and comfortable in your environment. We are able to teach you how to design your environment at our alternative naturopathic center.
   
4. Able to enjoy subtle things. You can notice small things and appreciate them. You’re more likely to enjoy looking at art, a butterfly, or the clouds than the average person. This is almost like a superpower. You can entertain yourself with simple things. Subtly is a cornerstone of a holistic center near me, as it helps to determine the things missing or things that need support in the area of your health. Relationships, environment, mental and emotional states all impact your physical health so understanding these things is key to your recovery. 

It’s easy to see how these characteristics would be useful in art, negotiating, or working in counseling. There are many ways to use these abilities to your advantage. Embracing who you are, knowing how to transform these “feelings” into practical tools, and then using them to create the life you want is key to success. 

There are also fields that you should probably avoid if you want to feel happy and peaceful. Working on the bond trading floor in Manhattan probably isn’t your cup of tea. Selling door-to-door probably doesn’t appeal to you either.

Use your natural strengths and avoid your natural weaknesses. This is always good advice if you want to be happy and successful.

In our Virginia Beach Holistic Clinic, we often work with families. With the growing pressure on the family. Family conflicts tend to build. Family conflicts often escalate during times of change, especially in times of change which are derived from feelings of powerlessness. For example, when multiple generations are sheltering under one roof instead of going to work and school as usual it provides no reprieve from each others personality. Our Virginia Beach Health Clinic often works with families and the family dynamics.

Even ordinary squabbles over the remote control can grow more heated with the extra time spent with each other. That’s especially true if deeper issues, like sibling rivalry and clashing lifestyles, have been lingering under the surface.In our Virginia Beach Holistic Clinic, we work to uncover these deep seated emotional and relationship issues. 

You can make your time at home more peaceful and enjoyable and we often recommend various strategies in our Virginia Beach Health Clinic. Try these strategies for preventing and resolving family disputes in a faster more loving manner.

Strategies for Preventing Family Conflicts

It’s natural to disagree even with those you love. We often see many disagreements in our Virginia Beach Health Clinic. On the other hand, you can also take steps to keep conflicts from multiplying by following some of these simple techniques that we teach in our Virginia Beach Holistic Clinic.

Try these techniques for fewer conflicts:

1. Appreciate each other. Your relationships matter more than any issue that could divide you. Think about why you love each other and express your gratitude often. This can be challenging when they are getting on our nerves. But we know from working with thousands of families in our Virginia Beach Health Clinic that the act and vibration of gratitude can help support the frequency of love which minimizes agitation.
   
2. Establish priorities. Ask yourself if any particular event is worth arguing about. You can probably get used to the toilet paper hanging over or under the roll. You truly do not need to die on every hill. In our Virginia Beach Holistic Clinic, we help provide a space for family members to express their frustrations and sort through what matters the most to the individual and if it will cause help instead of harm by sharing.
   
3. Clarify boundaries. Understand your own needs and limits. Figure out the reasons behind your requests, so you can negotiate more effectively. Let others know how you wish to be treated and the consequences for crossing your boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries is a healthy and loving act for self. At times, it can feel uncomfortable to set boundaries with others, however it can allow for greater ease and less resentment.
   
4. Schedule family meetings. Ongoing communication reduces misunderstandings. We tend to recommend within our Virginia Beach Holistic Clinic to have family meetings. These are safe places, and spaces designed to allow for you to get well. You may want to hold formal family meetings or put aside time each day to give each other updates and cover important topics.
   
5. Pull together. Share practical assistance, support, and encouragement. Aim to find solutions that benefit your whole family instead of trying to score personal victories. This can prove to be healthier for the whole instead of just the one. Our Virginia Beach Health Clinic is grateful for the health of the whole. 

Strategies for Resolving Family Conflicts Taught at our Virginia Beach Holistic Clinic

What if you’re already feuding with each other? Keep in mind that settling conflicts constructively can actually draw you closer together. We often delve deeper into these unconscious behaviors, beliefs, core beliefs, etc that can be driving these interactions. 

Keep these tips in mind that we recommend at our Virginia Beach Health Clinic

1. Stay calm. Avoid saying anything in anger that you might regret later. Take a walk around the block if you need to cool down. Make sure to take a break when things get heated and learn to fight in a healthy way. Fair fighting rules include agreeing not to yell, name call, or disrespect each other.
   
2. Listen closely. Let your family members know that you care about their opinions. Hear them out without interrupting. Validate their feelings even if you disagree with their conclusions. Validating and acknowledging what they feel, regardless if you agree or disagree can help everyone feel supported, loved, and accepted unconditionally.
   
3. Narrow your focus. Stick to one subject at a time. When you’re trying to divide household chores fairly, it’s irrelevant to mention who ate the last slice of pizza.Those that do not want to take personal responsibility will often deflect and those that do not want to deal with the task at hand may send the conversation flying in thousands of directions. Stay focused, and be present in the conversation.
   
4. Look ahead. Let go of past disappointments and resentments. Focus on what positive changes you can make for your future together. Resentments often come from suppressed communications. Disappointments come from thwarted intention or unfulfilled expectations. We can be responsible for our feelings of disappointment and accept the situation and the person for who they are and not who you want them to be. In communication, we work on fully expressing ourselves clearly. In our Virginia Beach Holistic Clinic, we often review methods and strategies surrounding communication.
   
5. Be specific. Spell out your expectations. You may think that cleaning a bedroom means dusting the top of the door. Your teenage son may feel satisfied as long as the neighbors aren’t mentioning any suspicious odors. Being clear with expectations and gaining acknowledgement and acceptance of these expectations can provide clarity. In our Virginia Beach Health Clinic, we often dispel unclarified and dispel whether our expectations are realistic or unrealistic to manage emotional upsets.
   
6. Offer compromises. Be flexible and creative about finding solutions that each family member can be comfortable with. Living together usually requires some give and take.It is about creating a compromise rather than being right, wrong, good or bad. Ensure that each person feels heard accepted, and that everyone gives a little bit in the discussion and in the solution.
   
7. Sign a contract. Do you have the same arguments week after week? You may want to put your resolutions down in writing and ask each family member to sign off. Keeping a record is likely to produce more compliance. Signing an agreement can create clarity and gain agreement to all those involved in the struggle.
   
8. Teach your children. Parents sometimes worry about how children will be affected when they see family conflicts. However, this can actually be a valuable opportunity for developing communication and relationship skills, as long as you provide a positive role model. Children mimic what they see in adults around them. You are not going to be a perfect parent no doubt, but being mindful of your behavior and your actions can help support little ones mindsets.
   
9. Consider counseling. If you’re still finding it difficult to cooperate with each other, it may help to talk with an experienced and objective professional. Our Virginia Beach Holistic Health Clinic work within the family dynamics from a perspective of teaching skills and tools. We encourage that all members of the family have their voice and feel empowered with that voice.  

Family conflicts often stir up strong emotions and power struggles. Protect your relationships and restore harmony by treating each other with kindness and respect. The more you feel internal kindness and resect the more you can create that in the world around you.