Forgiveness and healing is an infinite awareness. I think I learn more and more about this topic every day. This month as I explore the concept of forgiveness and healing, the first place I start is with myself. I watched this incredible YouTube video today about who you should marry. The woman on the Tedtalk told my story, well, partially my story. She had a difficult upbringing where she felt abandoned, rejected, unloved, and uncared for which truly was my story… It WAS my story. She stumbled through life with this idea of the picture-perfect marriage, in the simplest of forms. You meet someone, you fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after… simple.
Instead, she cited multiple marriages, divorces, etc. This was my story….. Seeking love, acceptance, in all the wrong places, except for within myself. Finally, she married herself. I remember this practice. For me, I actually bought myself a wedding ring. I wear it every day as it signifies my commitment to myself. The funny thing is that when I truly accept, love, forgive, and acknowledge how I feel about things, people respond.
I am not talking about being bossy, telling people like it is, or any other form of egoism conversation. I am genuinely talking about when you speak authentically from the heart with no malice, no contempt, and no animosity for self or others. You’re speaking freely in terms that not only you can understand, but others can understand. No, I will not negotiate my feelings, thoughts, and perceptions with you. This is my stand. I will not feel guilty, angry, or sad, based on your unwillingness to see or hear my view. This is me— front and center.
You are strong in your conviction while also gentle in your approach to where others stand. It is not your responsibility to take on people’s emotions, but rather stand gracefully in their presence, accepting where they are in their journey of self-discovery. I think that is truly an intimate place to be, or as one employee used to say to me years ago, that is not my dirty.
I feel blessed and grateful to be able to share with you, express myself, and that you’re willing to listen to all my ramblings about forgiveness and healing. All of my messy and authentic self. I am grateful to even be to the point where I no longer feel ashamed of my messiness and that I embrace it. For every one element or aspect of messy, there are a dozen incredible aspects of myself, and I am grateful for both sides because I could not fully enjoy the light without the dark. It is much like a honeymoon to be able to share with you in this way, or maybe even like the reception— lets a party!
As humans, we’re sometimes very hard on ourselves with negative self-talk. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our beliefs can sometimes be very damaging to our self-esteem. Unfortunately, these negative talking points in our head sometimes keep us stuck in a rut. At our naturopathy healing center we explore various ways to which we can eliminate this negative-self talk and replace it with more loving, supportive conversations. There is holistic near me, that encourages healing in the body, mind, and spirit of the person.
A great psychologist, Albert Ellis, had many tokens of wisdom to pass around. One of his ideas centralized around these negative thoughts and negative self-talk, which he often referred to as irrational beliefs. In our naturopathy healing center, we explore these irrational beliefs and determine what is healthy and what is not in a setting of holistic near me.
Discover how you can stop this vicious circle and turn your self-talk into words that support and encourage you, instead. Your mind is a powerful tool that can be used to help you heal and overcome any obstacle.
First Step: Pay Attention to Triggers
The first step to stopping negative self-talk is figuring out what is triggering these negative beliefs in the first place.These can be somewhat tricky and somewhat easy to find. In our naturopathy healing center, we recommend that you journal these triggers out. These can be seen as emotional reactions, frustrations, aggravations, worries, etc. Any emotion that does not make you feel good is a trigger.
Albert Ellis called these so-called triggers “activating events.” These can be everyday occurrences that happen to us or around us. Holistic near me, explores the impact of these happenings and how they impact the internal environment or the other way around. Anything from having your boss or supervisor yell at you and take away your project to experiencing a run-in collision with a deer on a country road can be an activating event.These activating events can be subtle as well, a promotion, a higher work demand, a partner who wants more from you can also lead to activating emotional events.
Are you in conflict with another? Did something not go your way? These are often clues that we look for at a holistic near me naturopathy healing center.
Further, triggers can also be incredibly personal to you and unique to your life. These are sometimes referred to as “red flags.” Red flags are issues that pertain to you alone, such as your weight, family and close relationships, integrity, and anything else that you deem sacred.These can be tied to subtle and not so subtle events from the past. In our naturopathy healing center, we uncover these past buried emotions and help you to restore your emotional health.
When these issues get raised, they immediately set off an alarm within you. In holistic near me, we understand these alarm bells trigger physiological reactions such as increased cortisol production, epinephrine, norepinephrine releases, etc. The body becomes overwhelmed and overworked from the stress response.
Identify Irrational Beliefs
These irrational beliefs are the real culprits behind why we get upset or angry at the triggers we’ve just experienced, according to Albert Ellis. It’s not the trigger itself, but the beliefs that cause the negative self-talk. These beliefs are based on perceptions, beliefs, experiences from the past. Your beliefs form themselves from 0-8 years old and are sometimes passed down from ancestral ties.
Ellis claimed that these irrational beliefs are responsible for our emotional states, also known as the consequences of our beliefs. In this way, by identifying and then changing these beliefs, we can experience fewer emotional consequences. In our naturopathy healing center, we teach our practice members and guests skills, and tools in order to dig these past beliefs up to the surface. As we examine more holistic near me, we are able to transform these beliefs into new elevated beliefs of self.
For example, let’s look at this process:
You just learned that you got turned down for a promotion at work.
Getting turned down for the promotion is the activating event or trigger.
The underlying thoughts or irrational beliefs you might be having include, “I’m never going to advance my career,” “My boss hates me,” or even “My boss is never fair to me.”
These beliefs or thoughts can lead to emotional consequences of sadness and depression.
To take it even a step further, the underlying belief exists that you are not good enough, nothing ever works, or that you are not worthy of receiving in your life. These core beliefs have created so many issues with your work, your relationships, etc.
Dispute Irrational Beliefs
The idea behind identifying these negative, irrational beliefs is so you can do something to change them. In our naturopathy healing center, our goal is to help you to identify these beliefs and transform.
You can change them by challenging these beliefs. This is a process of examining the truth and reality and seeing that it is different from your belief. This can be a challenging process, and one that is helpful when done with another person. The other person in a practice of holistic near me, helps you to explore these concepts in a safe space. They will also help you to see yourself and provide you the tools and goals you need to heal.
In the prior example of getting turned down for a promotion, a series of questions can be asked to help you sort through reality from these irrational beliefs. You want to challenge yourself by asking questions that are almost the opposite of your identified beliefs. It can be helpful to journal these concepts and work to reframe these into beliefs that you want in life.
Some of these challenge questions may be:
What is the truth in this situation?
Do I have evidence to support that my current beliefs are true?
In the example above: Are there times when my boss has been fair?
Is it true that I’ll never advance in my career, or is this just a minor setback?
What did I make this situation mean about myself?
These questions can help you identify the truth from what you may erroneously believe or negatively think about a situation or yourself. The more honest you can be with a mindset of holistic near me, the more you are able to discover, uncover, and transform these limiting beliefs. Our naturopathy healing center, is designed to help you to transform especially how these thoughts impact your health.
If you can identify the truth, this can lead you to think differently and avoid suffering the emotional consequences of the trigger in the first place.
Follow this process whenever you notice thoughts that are unkind to you. Change your beliefs and you’ll find your self-talk becoming words of encouragement, instead. It is also incredible to watch your life transform once you change your beliefs and get rid of that negative self-talk.